


Happy Without Me

by McDanigan



Series: All About Love [5]
Category: April (Band), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X)-centric, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Mentioned Monsta X Ensemble, Requited Unrequited Love, Sad Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24025183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McDanigan/pseuds/McDanigan
Summary: “Tell me,” he said, pausing as a pout suddenly formed on his lips without him knowing. “Why is love too hard for me? Why is pain too sad?”The soft, periwinkle blue whale stared back at him, triggering the broken man to strike the bed using the poor whale as a hammer.For Minhyuk, it was one of the softest, rawest, most genuine moments of his life, but for the two other people in the room, well, Minhyuk looked like he just grew two heads and another pair of eyes.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon & Lee Minhyuk, Lee Jooheon & Lee Minhyuk, Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X) & Everyone
Series: All About Love [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675315
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Happy Without Me

_Has it really been five months, six months?  
_ _Glad to see that we both moved on, moved on.  
_ _Do you think about me sometimes?  
_ _'Cause I think about you sometimes.  
  
_

**  
April 25, 2021, Sunday  
8:33 AM  
  
**

“Tell me,” he said, pausing as a pout suddenly formed on his lips without him knowing. He breathed deeply before continuing, “Why is love too hard for me? Why is pain too sad?” He sighed just in time to his right eye blinking one beat earlier than his left. 

The soft, periwinkle blue whale stared back at him, triggering the broken man to strike the bed using the poor whale as a hammer. 

It was just 30 minutes ago when Minhyuk woke up, startled at Hyungwon who was up and about at 8 AM on a Sunday. H-Y-U-N-G-W-O-N of all people. 

Minhyuk jumped from his bed, headed for the closet, and was choosing his outfit when Hyungwon asked where he was going. 

"Inkigayo! Where else, dumbass? I'm late!" 

Without a word, Hyungwon stopped him by his shoulders and stared, his resemblance with the soulless No Face in Spirited Away so uncanny that Minhyuk had to step back. Waiting a few seconds, Hyungwon breathed deeply before whispering, "Inkigayo ended in October... dumbass."

That was when Minhyuk sat on the bed, looked at his blue whale with regret, and hammered away. 

For Minhyuk, it was one of the softest, rawest, most genuine moments of his life, but for the two other people in the room, well, Minhyuk looked like he just grew two heads and another pair of eyes. 

Just then, Minhyuk heard a clap, just one, and then another, following a rhythm that, he sensed, should have been familiar to him. 

With a pout and a shock of messy hair, Minhyuk watched as Joohoney suddenly urged Hyungwon to clap to the beat with him. And then, with a nod, Joohoney paused, arms wide… before–

“Ongshimi shimi ongshimi! Are you ready?!” –breaking into a dance. Joohoney shouted, jumping as if he was onstage. Hyungwon followed as he swayed like a seaweed with both hands up, palms cupping the air as his arms shook from side to side. 

“Ongshimi shimi ongshimi! Ong ong ong!” 

Reaching the perfect timing, Minhyuk jumped on the bed and held the blue whale like a mic as he pointed at his audience who danced like… worms sprayed with insecticide.  
  
" _Haessalcheoreom ttdeuthan misoga neomu joha_ —" Minhyuk sang.

" _—Joha_!" Joohoney and Hyungwon echoed.  
  
Minhyuk closed his eyes as his face contorted dramatically upon remembering a certain warm, bright smile. 

Right. _Inkigayo ended in October._ Right before his birthday. And that was 6 months ago. He ought to laugh at himself. Stupid, stupid Minhyuk. 

In his defense, people had always experienced it. Being jolted awake, thinking they needed to get back to what they were accustomed to doing for a long time. In his case, Inkigayo, coordinated wardrobe, fans cheering, the occasional iced coffee surprises from the members, Jaehyun… Naeun. 

This Sunday was just a far cry from what he usually had a year before, that was all. _And you don't have to put too much meaning into it, right?_ Minhyuk convinced himself.

He took his singing to another level. 

_"N _eol_ bomyeon neomu seolle na eotteeokhamyeon joha_.” 

_"Joha_ _!_ "

_I'm so excited to see you, what should I do?_

_I bet my life on you. I bet everything for you.  
_

Minhyuk was feeling the intensity of the song now more than ever as he gripped his chest, crumpling his shirt with his fist. And then, reaching the chorus, the trio sang—  
_  
You who are white and round, you're my ongshimi, a cute ongshimi. I'm going to protect you!  
_

Joohoney entered, "I love you babe—" 

"Ongshimi shimi ongshimi!" 

"Yeah!" 

"Ongshimi shimi ongshimi! Let me hear you scream!" 

The trio, who continued to move and shout to the signature dance craze, didn't see their maknae standing frozen near the open doorway, his mouth open in shock. 

Changkyun was so absorbed by the scene in front of him that he didn't even move when someone opened the door and kissed him on the cheek. 

"I bought—" 

Hye-Bin paused at the sight of... dancing in the room. She couldn't help but shake her head. She'd seen too much of these things, she became so used to it. Hye-Bin put the snack-filled bag down, looked at Changkyun, and was about to open her mouth, when he interrupted, putting his hands in front of him in defense. "I just came in!" 

Sighing, Hye-Bin glanced at her watch before looking back at the chaos. "I told you to watch after— Yah! Minhyuk ssi! Don't you dare take off your clothes!" 

At that, the pity party drew into a halt. With his hands up in the air, Hyungwon froze before looking at Joohoney who was in the act of grinding himself on the wall.

"Be ready in 10 minutes," Hye-Bin said before storming out of the room, leaving Changkyun looking back and forth towards her and then his _hyungs_. 

"Yes, _Maenijeo-nim_ ," the trio murmured as Minhyuk hugged his blue whale with a pout. 

  
*******

**  
October 25, 2020, Sunday  
SBS Inkigayo  
  
  
**"Naeu– Naeun– looked so angry, she—" Minhyuk bursted laughing again, trying so hard to contain himself when they entered the backstage. 

Jaehyun patted him on his back as he tried to catch his own breath. 

Naeun covered her mouth, shaking in laughter before fanning herself and pointing towards Minhyuk and Jaehyun. "I was so mad when they left me doing the spill alone, I almost hit Jaehyun ssi while the camera's rolling!"

"The camera director's like, _hajima, hajima_!" Jaehyun interrupted, imitating the camera director, waving both his hands in panic.

The staff laughed with the three of them.

When Naeun laughed, it wasn't one of those loud, irritating, crow-like sound that would usually come out of, well, _his_ mouth. It was more of a giggle. Something that would come out bubbling gently inside her which sounded so adorable, he wanted to melt. 

She would sometimes tuck her hair behind her ears when she speaks, and then look with big, round eyes as she listens. Sometimes, she would even hug a staff and clap like a child at their little accomplishments.

It was worse when she would start vlogging for her fans after a shoot, because that would usually mean she'd start twirling and making faces at the camera as she half-walked, half-jumped, looking so genuinely happy, he feared she would just burst into marshmallows in front of him or something.

Minhyuk would tease her about it, imitating her energy in an extremely exaggerated manner. And he had to admit that more than the urge to tease her, he was doing it to test her. But instead of shying away from him, like others would usually do, she would act almost like a diva in front of him, rolling her eyes and flicking her hair, almost as if she was telling him, "I don't care what you think. This is me." 

And Jaehyun and Naeun would later laugh at him, when she would start mocking Minhyuk's raucous laughter with a deeper, manly voice that sounded more like a gorilla than anything else.

That was a year ago, and the succeeding Sundays that came after it. It was true a year ago when they started, still true now that everything was going to end. 

Minhyuk took his phone, searched a number, and placed the phone on his ear as he checked his reflection in the mirror. 

Kkkkeu! But he looked good. His eyes were shining, skin bright, lips red, and yet when the person on the other end of the line took the call, Minhyuk answered, "Kihyun-ah," in a tone that sounded so melancholic even to him. 

Just then, he heard a string of words spoken in dialect. "Why are you calling Kihyun, huh?! Aren't you supposed to call me?!" It was Hyungwon. Minhyuk flinched, looked briefly at his phone, before placing it back on his ear." _Mianhe_." 

There was a pause on the line. It wasn't something he would say on a typical day. _Mianhe._ He was unapologetic. Hyungwon knew that. Everyone knew that. It was just that, sometimes, particularly this time, Minhyuk didn't have the energy to pick up a fight. 

"Tsk." Hyungwon clucked his tongue. "Okay. I'll buy you something to eat when you get back. What do you want?" 

_Yes!_ He straightened on his seat, now grinning at the thought of food. 

"Pizza. With lotsa pineapples. And hot sauce." 

"Okay. Pizza—"

"And cola."

"And col—"

"Can you buy garlic chicken too? I'm really hungry."

"Okay. Just finish the shoot and get back as soon as possible, okay?"

" _Ne_!" Minhyuk exclaimed before bowing shyly to the staff who jumped when she heard him.

"Uh!" And then just before the call died, he heard Hyungwon screaming, "Honeyah! _Kaja_!" 

Minhyuk chuckled as he ended the call. He looked back at the mirror and found an errant lock of hair dangling on his forehead. He rearranged it, putting it to the side so that his forehead would be bare and his glasses would look good on his face. 

He had to give it to himself. He looked dapper wearing a striped Hugo Boss navy blue suit, a tie, and a pair of Armani black shoes. Complementing Jaehyun's dark navy pinstriped suit and Naeun's black V-neck button suit dress, Minhyuk was sure they would be a force to reckon with onstage for the last episode of Inkigayo.

And he had to give credit to himself. Pat pat, Minhyuk. Besides, he was the one who coordinated their suits, not to mention, decided on their makeup today. 

Just then, he heard a bubbly voice. From the mirror, he saw Naeun passing by near the open doorway of his and Jaehyun's shared dressing room as she waved and sent flying kisses toward the camera. She was at it again. And gorgeously at that. He didn't know the suit dress would look so good just right above her knees covered by her leather boots that accentuated her long legs even more. He did better than he expected. 

He looked at Jaehyun.

"Jaehyun ssi!" Minhyuk called, pointing at Naeun with his thumb, and then, with a nod of his head, he signalled Jaehyun to come with him. He followed with a grin.

"Hello, Fineapples! You missed Jaehyun and I, right?" Minhyuk shouted from the back as he and Jaehyun waved and sent flying kisses just as Naeun did. Naeun rolled her eyes at them before looking back at the camera.

"Minhyuk oppa styled us today! What do you think? We're so pretty, right? Cheer for us!" She laughingly said and was about to do another monologue, when the staff stopped recording upon hearing the call for their last performance.

They walked together.

By the time they reached the stage, Minhyuk was feeling lighter. Being with his co-MCs and seeing Monbebes in the crowd had never failed to give him an extra boost of energy. He was waving at them, when he felt Naeun's eyes on him. Just like their Jumbo Mambo performance, Naeun had to face him while Jaehyun was at the back behind him. 

Looking at her, Minhyuk suddenly felt a bit… annoyed at how she could look so effortlessly beautiful, smiling so brightly like that. And although it was one directed at him, he knew it wasn't really because of him. 

_That_ was when Minhyuk realized that happiness was as normal to Naeun as breathing. She was born with it. The smile was affixed to her as her hair was. Or her big eyes or her perky nose and mouth. And he knew, even when all this ended, it would still be there. 

She was happy, _would be_ happy even after all of this.

And it wouldn't be because of _him._

"Minhyuk oppa," she called, making his heart suddenly skip– one more cause of his bubbling impatience for this day to be over with. "We'd still be friends after this, right?" 

In truth, he was shocked she asked that from him. _What is she up to? Is she teasing me?_ Minhyuk asked internally. Covering his reaction with a grin, he said "Of course!" with a click of his tongue and a smile on his face as he cheered them on. But he knew better. No one had become friends and had seen each other after starring together whether in film or onstage. That would never happen. And they both knew that.

He turned his eyes to the cameras once more and was astonished, when, beyond the crowd, two tall guys were waving so enthusiastically at him, he was afraid their arms would fall off. He squinted. 

"Minhyukah! Hwaitiiiing!" That was definitely Joohoney with Hyungwon bobbing his head beside him. Minhyuk waved as he blinked back— _shit! Why did he feel like crying all of a sudden_ ? The performance started, and he pushed himself to dance with far more energy than a few minutes ago. He needed that pizza. More accurately, he needed to be with Hyungwon and Joohoney. _Let's get this over with_ , he thought to himself.  
  
  
  


They said their speech and received their bouquet of flowers to the shouts of fans and artists cheering them on. To address their viewers for the last time, Minhyuk led his partners for a charismatic ending. Or so he hoped.

"Should we do our final greeting now?" Minhyuk asked. 

There was a slightly longer pause, when Minhyuk had to look at Naeun and smile at her to urge her on.

"Yes!" She picked up with a laugh, smoothing out the pause flawlessly, making it seem part of the script. "Where do we go on Sundays?"

"SBS Inkigayo!" The trio said.

"Until we meet again in Inkigayo!" Jaehyun said over the fans' screams. 

"Bye bye!" 

After bowing nonstop to artists and receiving congratulations from them, they left the stage and did the same for the staff. 

Everyone was praising them, their chemistry, their hard work, and the three of them received it with a grateful heart.

Minhyuk was walking to his and Jaehyun's dressing room, the latter striding ahead of him with the bouquet in his hand, when he heard a patter of footsteps quickly making its way behind him. "Minhyuk oppa, Jaehyun ssi! Picture?" 

It was Naeun. Jaehyun ran back with a grin. A click, one more from her phone, his phone, a few more from Jaehyun's phone, a few last poses, and— his phone rang. _Thank God._

"Oops! Sorry! Excuse me," he said to his co-MCs who were now bowing their farewells toward each other. He smiled at them before answering.

"Hello?" he said, smiling at Jaehyun who used his thumb to gesture that he needed to go ahead of him. He nodded, embracing his friend tightly. "See you soon!" he called out. Jaehyun nodded, waving. 

**"What's taking you so long? Hurry! We're hungry!"**

"Yep! Give me five minutes! I'm just getting my bag."

Minhyuk ended the call, bowed, murmured a "Thank you!" and shook Naeun's hand. He took long strides to get his bag inside the dressing room before waving towards the staff. He did this seemingly in one breath, not looking back, unknowingly leaving a wide-eyed Naeun in his wake. 

*******

_  
_ **April 25, 2021, Sunday  
9:00 AM**

  
"Time's up!" 

Minhyuk bumped into Hyungwon, who flew towards Changkyun, who swiftly kissed Hye-Bin on the top of her head when he fell like a domino over her. 

Shownu laughed at the scene before him. 

"I said 10 minutes! What took you so long?" Hye-Bin, their oh so headstrong manager who was just the same age as him, asked as they pushed themselves, one after the other, inside the van. 

"Hyungwon's fault!" Minhyuk said as the man he was blaming dove to the back seat beside him.

"Changkyun forgot his phone! How's that my fault?!" 

"Honey hyung distracted me. He's too handsome," the maknae said in his usual mono-baritone— if there ever was a thing. He closed the door after Shownu hyung. 

"Now that's unfair! I was here even before all of you!" Joohoney complained, suddenly looking at Hye-Bin, pleading to take his side. Hye-Bin closed the door to the passenger seat, before patting Joohoney on his shoulder. " _Kaja_!" 

The party screamed at the top of their lungs. Days off now were nicer than before, Minhyuk had to admit. Back then, it was full of begging for rest and collecting vouchers for food and vacation. Now, they got to do anything they want, particularly spending time together every last Sunday of the month just to have fun with family. 

What's more, Jooheon had always made up for the straight, boring highway with his rollercoaster of a playlist that was a winding path from jazz to old, catchy Korean love songs to opera that the both of them sang without so much as pausing for a breath. Yes, even the opera. He and Joohoney loved it! 

Joohoney took the exit and stopped by a cafe on the corner of the street. 

"Baby." Joohoney peered towards the rearview mirror as he called Hyungwon who was sitting between him and Changkyun. "Did you text her?" 

Minhyuk observed as Hyungwon leaned over a sleeping Changkyun to look outside the window, before glancing back at his phone. 

"Oh!" he said as he answered his phone, "Where are you?" 

Minhyuk and Shownu laughed. Hyungwon's strong accent just transformed into a gentle, almost sweet tone that they have yet to get accustomed to. It's funny. "Yee-haw!" Minhyuk teased, making them snicker behind their palms.

"Uh-huh." Hyungwon nodded, looking at Minhyuk's side of the mirror towards a grocery store on the other side of the road. "Oke. What's that again? Soy sauce, sweet potatoes, lemons? Why lemons? How many? Oke. Got that. Minhyuk will get you," Hyungwon said, looking at him. "Bye bye." He ended the call. "Hoseok hyung texted her. Said to buy from the grocery, but she can't leave the cafe since she ordered iced coffee for us." The last part met cheers from everyone inside the van except Minhyuk who groaned. 

"She buys that 'cause she likes you! Ugh I hate her. I'm buying strawberry frappe. Who wants one?" 

"Oh! Me!" Shownu said, raising his right hand with an awkward smile. "Uh- no! Sorry. Caramel!" 

"Okay. Hye-Bin ssi? Joohoney?" 

"No, thank you!"

"Iced coffee's fine." 

"Be right back!" Minhyuk said as Changkyun opened the door and went with Hyungwon to the grocery store across the street.

"Ongshimi shimi ongshimi. Yeah." Minhyuk sang absentmindedly as he pushed the door open, the bell producing a soft tinkling sound when he entered. He smiled as he saw Yujin right away and gasped as he approached the table. "Whoah! Strawberry! Is this mine?" 

Yujin laughed as she arranged their drinks on the cup holder. "Yep! Here's Hyunwoo's. The others are ok with iced coffee?" 

"You're the best!" Minhyuk said as he took the two drink carriers, each containing six beverages, for them.

"Can you do it?" Yujin asked, taking something from his eyes. 

"Huh! I'm working out with Joohoney now." 

"Whoah! CrossFit?!" 

He nodded, moving his chin up a notch. Yep. He was proud of himself. Pat pat, Minhyuk.

They stood up and thanked the cafe owner as Yujin held the door open for him. She arranged his hair when he passed by, complimented how soft and healthy his hair was becoming, and took the purse from under his arms. He laughed when she asked him to take extra care if he needed to pull some weights. She could do something when their hair looked a mess or their makeup was smudged, but she couldn't do anything with broken backs. "Ugh seriously. I'd lose my job over physiotherapists!"

Coming from Yujin, the words sounded light and funny that everyone within hearing would think she was joking– not that there was anyone who could hear them except for the two women who were in their own world, talking about the latest in fashion inside the cafe. 

But he knew better. Yujin was always making sure they were taken care of, just as she was doing for the past six years since she became their makeup artist and now, one of their production managers alongside Hye-Bin. And he was thankful, more so as Yujin was like a sister to them— except for Hyungwon who was having a secret "friendship" with her that they were all obsessed with! They looked so cute, who wouldn't adore them! 

The duo left the cafe with a smile plastered so brightly on their faces that one of the women in the coffee shop couldn't help but look down at her now cold cup of coffee as her friend discussed how beautiful the dress she saw was, how she would look good with red and a pair of gladiator boots, and—  
  
_Do you think about me sometimes? Because I think about you all the time.  
_  
Not hearing anything, she smiled, grabbed the cup, and forced herself to sip. It was the worst cup of coffee Naeun had ever tasted.   
  
  


_'Cause I hate to see you happy without me.  
_ _I should really want the best for you,_  
_But you know I got to tell the truth,_  
And I hate to see you happy without me.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I don't know, but writing about a happy person's sadness can be so intimate. It doesn't matter if the person is surrounded by a crowd or an audience of just two people. Seeing a happy person sad is just something else. 
> 
> Finally, after weeks of hiatus, I got to write Minhyuk's story! And what dragged me to give him **Happy Without Me** is the question, "What if Minhyuk, someone who's always giving a sunny, positive energy to people, suddenly found someone he wants to give happiness to but doesn't necessarily need it?" 
> 
> April's Naeun, for me, is the best character to go alongside Minhyuk. Watching videos of her, I can't help but smile! She has this bubbly, confident personality that everyone seems to love, and I hope I didn't give Fineapples a headache for pairing her with Minhyuk! 
> 
> If there's something I hope I achieved by writing this story, it's that at least I made you feel lighter with the story and the characters! If not, then at least I tried haha!
> 
> Next up, Shownu with **She's the One**!


End file.
